Internal Family Systems (IFS)
IFS is a gentle, respectful therapy that views your mind like an inner “family” of parts (different aspects of you that think, feel, and act in various ways), and at the heart of it is your true Self (a calm, wise, and compassionate presence) guiding your internal world. The “parts” are categorized into three groups: Mangers, Firefighters, and Exiles. Managers; proactively help you stay safe and in control, sometimes turning into perfectionism or harsh self-criticism, Firefighters; reactively jump in when emotions get overwhelming, using distractions like overeating, sarcasm, or withdrawing, and Exiles; often carry memories of pain, shame, or fear from childhood.

The aim of IFS is to help your Self-led core reconnect with your parts so you can respond from a place of wisdom instead of being driven by challenging emotions. You learn to heal wounded parts (“unburdening”) and ease protective ones into more balanced roles. IFS is a trauma-informed approach that works deeply and safely with painful memories. It is non-judgmental as it posits that there are “no bad parts”, only parts that are doing the best they can at the time for you. Further, it is transformative in that it gently shifts internal conflict towards inner cooperation helping to ease anxiety, depression, addiction, relationship struggles, and more.

The hope of working with the IFS therapy lens is that it will result in you feeling more gentleness toward yourself, even during tough moments, that it will offer you greater emotional freedom as old pains soften, that it will provide you with a sense of internal calm and clarity, anchored by your real Self, and that it creates an inner teamwork experience of your system instead of parts clashing.

IFS invites you to become your own wise leader by listening to every part with compassion and curiosity, helping them heal, and guiding your “inner family” toward balance. It’s a powerful, respectful way to find peace within your system and grow stronger from your experiences. 

Intimacy From the Inside Out (IFIO)
IFIO is a couples therapy model built on the Internal Family Systems (IFS) framework. Created by Toni Herbine-Blank, it helps couples deepen emotional connection not just through talk, but by healing the inner emotional systems each partner brings to the relationship. Unlike some couples work that focuses only on communication strategies, IFIO guides each partner to unblend from their protective parts (those reactive defences like criticism or withdrawal) and to engage from a place of calm, compassion, and clarity (what IFS calls Self-energy). Many couples carry unresolved childhood or relational wounds rooted in fear of disconnection, shame, or unmet emotional needs. IFIO supports partners in building internal attachment stability so they can be present for one another without reactivity or defensiveness.

The aim of IFIO therapy is to support couples with recognizing that each of us have internal parts, both protectors (reactive defences) and exiles (vulnerable feelings) and to learn to tap into your own calm wise centre and show up from there (separate from reactive parts) so you can respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively towards your partner. Furthermore, it aims to soften reactivity through pausing and turning inward-with kindness-to that part of you that needs support before engaging with your partner, and makes space for vulnerable, heartfelt dialogue grounded in curiosity and care, not blame.

As your therapist, I intend to create a space where you and your partner can begin to explore your internal worlds with each other safely. I will support you both with identifying and speaking from your different parts, accessing your true Selfs, and soothing vulnerable parts. Further, I will support you with practicing vulnerable and mindful communication, and help you learn to see each other as resources, rather than threats to each other.

The hope of IFIO therapy is to help couples notice when they are speaking or reacting from a part, rather than from each individuals’ true Self, and to self-soothe and nurture vulnerable parts (like sadness or fear) before expressing needs to their partner. In addition, couples will learn to speak and listen from a place of curiosity and compassion, and be able to more easily transform conflict from blame/withdrawal into connection and repair, restoring safety and trust in the couple dynamic.

IFIO invites you both to bring your whole internal worlds—not just your words—into the therapy space. Using IFS-based tools, it fosters inner healing, and gently unfolds that into greater relational intimacy. By growing in safety and self-access, you can navigate conflict with curiosity and become each other’s healing presence.